Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Let's all help the Stasi!

Say YES to

ID cards!
fingerprinting in schools!
CCTV in all private areas including toilets!
security passes to access age-restricted areas
all personal data held on one big database!
electronic tagging for all!
national DNA database!
random healthy home visits from the family inspectorate!
licences for all family members!
suitability inspections on all parents!
guided and monitored national curriculum lessons for every child - from birth!
outlawing of all non-state approved and deviant parenting!
training every child to expect monitoring THROUGHOUT THEIR LIVES.

Yes, says Grit! YES YES YES. All these measures will help keep my children SAFE!

And what could possibly GO WRONG?

The training on all the Stasi inspectors will be faultless. Of course Mr and Mrs Spooky won't apply to work with children! We can trust the state to carefully vet all individuals! More than we can trust our own grannies! Anyway, in the new order, Granny will need a licence too! But if she's got nothing to hide, she's got nothing to fear!

And in the interests of helping the Stasi, let me inform on my neighbour.

He walks in a funny way and he keeps 27 steps in various forms in his house. 13 are connected to the stairs, which is a deviant number, so he's guilty of something; 3 are connected to a kitchen step ladder which I have never seen him use, so he's up to no good with that, 3 are down to his cellar, which should be investigated under the new Cellar Investigation Inspectorate, and the rest are casually littered around his house and garden where A CHILD could fall over them. So he is clearly GUILTY of child abuse and neglect. Hanging's TOO GOOD FOR HIM!


kellyi said...

I used to work in a bookshop (a big, well known one) and they did not have cctv in the childrens section for "ethical and legal reasons."

I went in the other week, and guess what I saw........yup. cctv in the kids section.

Grit said...

well this was prompted kelly by yet more stories of cctv in kid's toilets in schools ... i despair.