Grit, did someone get your dander up?

There are some morons out there - sorry, some uninformed ignorant twats (that sounds so much better) - who believe that home education means children stay at home.

When children stay at home, they do not see anyone else. Nope. Not a living person. Maybe the postman. Or maybe not, since last week we kidnapped him, butchered him and used his liver in the Satanic rituals we conduct in the cellar.

And then again, because we home educate, no-one sees our children, Shark, Squirrel and Tiger. So you can naturally assume the things we do to our offspring behind closed doors.

Of course what we do is brainwash them. That's timetabled 9.15am to 11am. Then we hot house them for their Masters degree in Pure Maths, 11am to 2.00pm. You'll note there's no lunch involved. Satanic rituals take place 2.00pm to 5pm. Then the evening's taken up with constant humiliation and beating. Bed is 7pm with a bowl of gruel. That's when mama and papa have sex in every room of the house involving drugs, vodka, excrement, goats, PornTV, she-wolves, you name it, we done it.

Because we use this word home education. Which must mean, in the brain of the average moron, that it takes place only in the home. Where we must have something to hide.

And somewhere in this field is Shark, Squirrel and Tiger,
not going anywhere on their bicycles.
Certainly not to Tuesday's activities
which involve French, horseriding, sailing and no dance.