Monday, 29 March 2010

Day out with the rozzers, fuzz, blue meanies

Gawdhelpus here we are dahn the copshop with the ole ducks and geese farkinghell.

Can you believe that? Here I am at the Police Station in Milton Keynes! I'm not even frogmarched down there with my arm twisted round my back!

And why? It's not the day that Grit has to turn up shifty-looking and shamefaced to show her driving licence. Nor collect her Notice of Intended Prosecution. Nor deal with any summons of any kind, give a statement, or receive a ticking off. None of those. Keep guessing.

You give in, don't you? We went entirely voluntarily. And it's called educational visit.

Howabout that! Here's one in the eye for all the arsefaces that claim home educators live on the fringes of society. How many times have they visited the cop shop on an educational outing then eh? How many? Na-na-na-na-nana!

Ha! Well, now she has done a spot of righteous gloating, delighted to prove home education is nothing about being excluded from society, but all about being smackbangrightinthemiddleofit, here's a photograph of a police horse.

And after the talk down the stables about horses being police officers we were shown the riot van.

Don't look shifty, Tiger. Last time it was different. In you go.

Do you recognise it Tiger? This is probably the same one we sat in while mama was having to fess up all her criminal ways that day we'd just visited the psychologist and had the car smash. Ah! Those were the days!

Then we toured the identification suites, but I'm not allowed to photograph those, obviously. There might be crims alooking at my blog and I cannot blow the gaff on the sneaky ways the coppers have of nabbing the miscreants.

All doing, the little grits declare the visit first class, and mama says the PR was excellent. So very good in fact that it has turned me away from a life of crime guvnor that's for sure. Now we recommend you all take your kids down the cop shop as soon as you get your educational group together and have those essential life discussions about the role of the police in British society. *

It was so exciting indeed, that Grit ran red lights all the way home.

* And if you home ed, we're following last year's Mad Science workshop on forensic analysis, last month's vidi on the history of the British Police Force, and now Grit is all set to dip into a spot of Sherlock Holmes and Wilkie Collins The Moonstone.


sharon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sharon said...

Had to delete an unforgivable grammatical error on original comment, sorry. I really am struggling with the keyboard on my new laptop!

Comment mark 2.

It's a fair cop Guv'nor!

MadameSmokinGun said...

One of the first forays we took with our current band of HE ne'erdowells was dahn the nick. We loved Truncheons Through the Ages but watching the court room being overrun with wild hooligans hamming it up for their uniformed audience was priceless. We knew we'd finally found the right bunch of maniacs to spend our time with.

mamacrow said...

blimey, you're prophetic! this is what I've planned for this month - thanks for those other resources suggestions - of course, Sherlock Holms, can't wait to dig those out! oooo, and we also love the Baker Street Boys, and Enid Blyton's Five Find Outer Series - Hmmmm, I wonder if my sister has still got all our old Nancy Drews?!