Apples

Mummy Grit is smart. Since we go down to the orchard, scrumping all the apples, Mummy Grit has been making chutney. That's when she's not chucking the vinegar about and burning the pans. Well, since we have been scrumping regularly now and have amassed bagloads of apples, I have decided that we are not using up the apples fast enough.

Mummy Grit has a wonderful little book she probably borrowed from some unfortunate and never gave back, or nicked from an honesty bookshelf at the local church, and that's a book on apple recipes.

So first up today is Celeriac and Apple Soup.

Ingredients:

1. Celeriac, which we haven't got. There's not time to go to Tesco, so change celeriac for potatoes. We've a big bag of potatoes that Dig bought from the farm weeks ago. Actually, I'm getting a bit fed up of eating potatoes.
2. Five apples. Five? Five? Is that all? Go on, twist my arm. Put in a dozen.
3. Chicken stock. Change that for vegetable. I don't want to murder a chicken just to use up a few apples.
4. Cream. That sounds OK. I keep cream for the ice cream maker. I apologise to the cows, obviously.
5. Celery leaves and apple to garnish. Forget about the celery leaves. Just cut up a few more apples.
6. Butter, salt and pepper. Salt is bad. Salt is BAD. BAD Salt.

Then Grit gets started ...cut up apples, melt butter, stew apples, add stock, throw in potatoes. Boil everything to an unrecognisable mush and serve.

Strange. Tastes like apple sauce with some mashed potato thrown in. But we are not deterred. Here's another recipe Grit finds. This sounds promising.

Heaven and Earth

1. 2lb potatoes. Good. I can use up some potatoes for this one.
2. 2lb apples. Apples!
3. 8oz bacon. Obviously I can't use that. I can't be a pig murderer now to use up a few apples. We could use chick peas instead.
4. Salt. Salt is bad. Salt is BAD. BAD Salt.

Let's get started... boil potatoes, mash. Stew apples. Put apples and potatoes together. Serve with bacon. Or chick peas. Strange. Tastes like apple sauce with mashed potato and some chick peas on the side.

Phew! Thank goodness it's time for pudding. Let's do stewed apples. They always go down a treat with some custard. And if we haven't got any custard we've got a big bag of potatoes to get through.