Monday, 8 October 2007

What if ... part two

They're not letting go of this albatross thing. Which just goes to show how effective the kiddie RSPB has been on one evening every month. Perhaps I should hand over teaching the time to them, and let's see how they do it.

Anyway, the albatross makes its appearance at lunch again.

'What if we get an albatross, what you going to feed it on?' asks Squirrel. Evidently, she's been puzzling about the logistics.
'Squid' says Shark decidedly, with her mouth full of apple cake.
'Where am I going to get squid from?' I ask. 'We live miles from the sea. Are you expecting me to get up every morning and drive to the coast to pick up squid to feed to the albatross?'
'No!' shouts Tiger gleefully. 'You can put squid in the freezer!'
'What if the albatross refuses to carry computers, daddy, or any baggage?' I ask. Judging by the worried look on Shark's face I can spy they haven't thought of that. So I become deeply concerned. 'Did anyone think to ask the albatross? What if we get it here and then it says it's not helping?' Now I'm starting the What if's.
'We could send it back home' says Shark.
'But we've removed it from its natural habitat' I point out. I'm starting to believe we actually have an albatross now. 'If we take a creature from the wild it might not be so easy to give it back. Sometimes they get rejected by their group. Or-' I say with a troubled look, 'it might get dependent on us and forget how to catch food for itself.'
'You could turn it loose' offers Shark.
'What? Turn it loose?' I'm incredulous. 'I can't turn it loose! It wouldn't know where to go. What if it starts hanging about the garages, sitting in doorways, drinking and spraying graffiti like the local teenagers. What do you do then?'

The idea of having the responsibility for a delinquent albatross hanging round the back lane makes everyone laugh.

'I don't want to see albatrosses hanging about spraying graffiti' says Shark. 'Let's drive daddy to the airport.'

At last.


Allie said...

Have you read the poem Albatross Ramble by Brian Patten?

grit said...

i have now ... i shouldve realised 'albatross' was code for creeping depression...!