More about leggings

I take Tiger to buy leggings, which I am told are not leggings, they are woolly tights. Well, I say to Tiger, I do not care if they are leggings, woolly tights or weasel's warmers, I need 15 pairs of them if I am not to be doing the laundry every night.

As we walk off to M&S, I force Tiger to do some maths. She can easily work out that 15 pairs is five pairs each. But I am sure there is spacial geometry involved in the location of all five pairs: one pair draped over the radiator from yesterday's wash; one pair in the laundry; one pair stinking behind the sofa where I will uncover them in a few days time; one washed and dried pair in the washed and dried basket, and one pair in everyone's bedroom, ready to be worn.

Of course, I remind Tiger as she considers the geometry, if we're going to do some work on unit cost, remember I have to shell out for a minimum of 16 pairs because leggings come in packs of two or four. And don't forget the added mathematical complications to do with colour.

For example, Tiger will wear only expensive pink leggings which come in packs of four. But one in each pack will be cream coloured. These she won't wear on account of her legs looking bandaged. So she will need two packs of four leggings to give her six pink leggings. Then Shark will wear only blue leggings. She will need three packs, but if they are on special offer I get the second pack half price so we'll take eight leggings and share her excess with Squirrel, who will wear blue but prefers stripes.

As it is, all my preparatory work on Venn diagrams is subverted. M&S don't have any leggings in the right size and colour except in black. And if there's one colour everyone's not wearing, it's black. So in goes the order for 16 pairs of leggings in various colours, arriving at the store next Wednesday.

And we're off back home, contemplating the four pairs of red leggings left over from last year, all of which have holes in them. Maybe now we'll just count the laundry costs and the days until Wednesday.