Professionalism

I have to admit it. Bathroom Man is very quiet and orderly and professional about the bathroom ripping. So far there has been no screaming, no yelling, no strange and prolonged silences after a house-shaking thump, crash, bang, or tearing sound, and so far no one's had to pop off for a couple of hours to B&Q where they have a special sale of He-Man power tools.

It's quite a contrast to the last bit on work done around here, that's for sure. Several years ago, before babies started crawling all over the house through every entrance and exit, me and Dig did some dramatic reorganisation of our living accommodation. We bought the cellar from the flat next door to convert it to an underground bedroom. With the help of some local builders, we next smashed through the walls and ceiling of the former bedroom to make a lovely open space with a wooden chapel roof. Then we set about the kitchen, rearranging the walls. Well, those were the days. And they were a million miles away from the quiet professionalism of Bathroom Man.

In those days there was a lot of shouting of 'Offer it up' and 'Bring it down' and 'It's your fault. You broke it'. Then there'd be stuff all over every surface, plaster everywhere and tools piled six foot deep, most of them which required bits that were lost, stuck on so tight they wouldn't come off, or broken, which meant another trip down B&Q. After six weeks of living on chips, the Indian take-away and the Chinese take-away in rotation, we were no further forward on the wiring or the floor, were up to our eyeballs in house poo and just had to drive to Wales to pick up the sink.

We must have been mad.

So it's no small relief that Bathroom Man is organised, efficient, and quiet. In fact I think I'll forget about the bathroom now and let it all happen around me while I go make a cup of tea.