Monday, 10 December 2007

English Heritage says...

Beeston Castle is very pretty. English Heritage says there are incredible views over eight counties.

I'm sure the other tourists exploring Beeston Castle today would like to concentrate on those incredible views. Especially the gentleman with the video recorder capturing the panoramic views. Unfortunately, Shark had a sneezing fit, so the following exchange will now be heard forever:

Shark! Stop sneezing!
I can't! (sneeze)
Have you got a tissue?
(sneeze) No!
Oh Bugger. I've got this bit of toilet paper, use that.
(sneeze sneeze)
Oh no! Look at all the snot! There's miles of it! Hanging out like string! Oh (expletive removed) it's soaked the toilet paper!
(sneeze sneeze sneeze)

English Heritage also says there are acres of unspoilt woodland trails to explore. Now I apologise to everyone going up to Beeston Castle in the next few years because I deposited two sheets of toilet paper covered in Shark snot in the undergrowth on the way down. I tried to do this discreetly, obviously, since litter louting doesn't come easily. But be kind in your judgement. Would you put two pieces of toilet paper soaked in the hanging variety of Shark snot into your coat pocket?

English Heritage also says there's plenty of wild life to see. That'll be Tiger, then, in the car park, throwing a fit because Squirrel saw the gate first.

2 comments:

Trevor said...

Hi Grit et al

Once again I get to chuckle into my keyvoard (keyvoard?), keyboard, at your posts.

I am slowly working my way through the archives. I would be doing this quicker but apparently my employer still has expectations of some sort of output. Hah.

Hope you all have a good Christmas (If Tiger can tantrum over who sees a gate first I shall look forward to tales of how getting presents goes...However, on the basis of past form, I am sure you are equal to such a challenge.

Ho, ho, ho to all.

grit said...

Hi Trevor! I hope your holidays are tip-top. I shall certainly be stopping by to enjoy cute photos of the T&B tribe doing some traditional seasonal house trashing (assuming you couldn't get the special adapted playpens in time...) Happy Christmas!